That morning

That morning

Had a weird dream this morning. “”They were shooting Spider-Man in the house where I was. And they had this really tall steel structure with some attachment to the house. And the Spider-man was swinging around this. He of course had several safety ropes attached which I guess will be digitally removed. The director was explaining the intricacies of the 3D work and so on. We were maybe 6 or 8 floors up. My mum was there as well. A floor or so below me. The director was on the ground I believe. The house had no guard railing in the front at all, so you could literally leap down.

In the blink of an eye about half the steel structure was gone (they had finished filming). My mum should have used that to get indoors (not completely sure why not on the floor where she was ). Anyway, she first walked the ledge with the vertical drop to her left. Then she jumped down one floor. Then dropped to her hand over the ledge (holding on to the ledge with her legs dangling free) , swung back and forth and landed on the next floor (which was sort of receded). All the while praying that I would not have to carry her (she was literally praying this out loud) while doing all this dangerous calisthenics! And there I was thinking maybe she should wait while we try and figure out how to get the steel structure back so she could get into the house. She made it safely though!

07:30am 11/March/2013.

 

I put the following on FaceBook yesterday (08/05/2013) then removed it immediately. I think even the premise that one can announce he/she is about to make restitution (implying making up for some negative act in the past – as if …) is probably an indication of a proud/haughty heart (not what I was aiming for). I am putting it here because I like how it read (and it is my blog after all 🙂

“Time for restitution. This is not a one-time offer though it may be time-limited in its current iteration. If I have taken anything (money, joy, property, etc) from you, or the reverse (given you pain, sadness, etc), I am truly sorry. If it is or can be converted to material things, I will add something on top (after all, there is always interest to be paid even on legitimate borrowing) but I can’t go full-scale “Zacchaeus” (I don’t have that kind of resources … yet). If not, let me know the type/kind of restitution required.
But seriously …”

Rumble in Rhodesia

Rumble in Rhodesia

The third war has come
…. and stayed

Oil was all that mattered
Oil is all that matters
They will kill you just because you have a car
Then kill you a second time for the oil in your car

I have a gun
Every other bullet is a blank
The lion facing me is not all lion
Neither am I all man
We both are part flesh, part machine
My watch tells me I am 70
My body is only 40
The lion has armour
The man has armour

I could end it all
If I popped one in the mouth
But a coward I am not
Cowardly – yes, from time to time
Reminds me of what the girl said so long ago
I have spent a life time and a half making it untrue
I wonder where she is

The lion advances
It radiates neither hate nor love
It was engineered for one goal:
Its purpose

I was caught
Stealing food for one of my kin
No kin in the flesh
But kin because we roam the wastelands together
Together by chance and challenges
She has a baby
Not mine
But a baby is a baby is helpless

Look at the map of the world
If you can find one
Back to the conference in 1845 with a smattering of 1914
Old alliances, new allies
All enemies, no friends

It is just one long evening
Am I alive or is this a memory chip in some computing grid
The claws felt real enough
The pain went from my back up my spine to my brain
… and back

I put the lion down
But no joy in victory
The third war is still on
Hell has come to stay
We did not go down
Hades came up

No matter how hard I pray
I know I still have to pay

So I am sending out my thoughts
If you receive them
I hope you will answer
Look for me in the never-ending dusk
A mist; a wisp; a whisper; a memory; a Shade
A man
A machine
A thought
09/April/2013