{"id":1311,"date":"2014-12-15T09:55:43","date_gmt":"2014-12-15T09:55:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/illumination2.wordpress.com\/?p=1311"},"modified":"2014-12-15T09:55:43","modified_gmt":"2014-12-15T09:55:43","slug":"the-long-weekend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/2014\/12\/15\/the-long-weekend\/","title":{"rendered":"The long weekend"},"content":{"rendered":"

The long weekend<\/strong><\/p>\n

“Christ, what’re you doing?!” Said my aunt looking at me like I just pooped on her Persian rug.
\n“Are you asking me or asking Christ?” I said, looking as innocently as the mutt who sat beside me on the couch. I couldn’t help my self.
\n“Young man, don’t be fresh with me. What happened to the last one?”
\n“She split.”
\n“Split in two like an orange?” she said. Ah! There was the comeback. The old lady still had it in her.
\n“No wonder you are alone. When you can’t even talk like a regular human. Using all these slang like split, and so on.” She didn’t include the “fresh” she used herself. But I wasn’t about to point that out.
\n“What you need is some common sense and a whole lot of Jesus.”
\n“Hallelujah!” I said.<\/p>\n

There was a sound like a thunder clap and I couldn’t see for a few seconds. Which reminded me I was talking to a matriarch from the “home country”. You are never too old for certain “things” with one of them.<\/p>\n

“There you go. Giving me lip!”
\n“Dear Jesus. What would your father say to that? I am sure the poor man is turning in his grave.”
\nNow that hit where it hurt and she knew it. I looked everywhere but at her. The dog returned my stare. It had the “I told you so look” on its face. I looked at the wall. There was my dad looking down at me kindly. Which didn’t make me feel any less guilty. Finally I looked at my aunt. She just looked back with this open expression on her face I could not read.<\/p>\n

There were just three of us in the house.
\nOne couldn’t understand why I was taking up valuable comfortable space on its couch.
\nThe second couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get it together.
\nThe third – myself – I regretted not tucking my tail between my legs and running away as fast as possible when I got the “summons”. Instead I decided to show up and take it like a man. It was going to be a long weekend.<\/p>\n

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *<\/p>\n

Apologies for the “incompleteness” of the story. Woke up with only the first two lines in my mind. Tried hard to make something of it. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The long weekend “Christ, what’re you doing?!” Said my aunt looking at me like I just pooped on her Persian rug. “Are you asking me or asking Christ?” I said, looking as innocently as the mutt who sat beside me … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":336,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[205,446,483,536,635,682,759,955],"class_list":["post-1311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-christ","tag-grave","tag-home-country","tag-jesus","tag-matriach","tag-mutt","tag-persian","tag-summon"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1311","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/336"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1311"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1311\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1311"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1311"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1311"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}