{"id":966,"date":"2013-06-20T22:11:31","date_gmt":"2013-06-20T22:11:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/illumination2.wordpress.com\/?p=966"},"modified":"2013-06-20T22:11:31","modified_gmt":"2013-06-20T22:11:31","slug":"g-e-l","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/2013\/06\/20\/g-e-l\/","title":{"rendered":"G.E.L."},"content":{"rendered":"

G.E.L (Gays, Extremists and a little pink Lamp)<\/b><\/p>\n

So let\u2019s start with a disclaimer. This blog post is meant to be rude. Don\u2019t read too much into it. I am now going to start from the beginning \u2026 or as close to it as is possible.<\/p>\n

NOTE: I am not homophobic. I am not homophobic. I am not homophobic. I am not homophobic. I do not hate LGBTs nor anyone for that matter. Even if everybody hates Chris, that does not include the \u201cLittle dude from across the street. Lemme hold a dollar\u201d guy. Well, you can look at me like that fella except without the implied \u201cI will beat you up if you don\u2019t comply\u201d threat. We good? Good. Shall we?<\/p>\n

So I bought a rechargeable lamp a week or so ago. It is mostly white but with a little pink. I didn\u2019t think too much of it at the time and didn\u2019t really use it much until tonight. Well, the 9KVA generator tried to pull a \u201cspontaneous combustion\u201d on me last night (well, actually it was the plug on the cable that tried to do that, but I guess one can\u2019t blame it \u2013 after all, it can\u2019t tell a holy day apart from a weekday). Anyways, tonight I whipped out some tools and decided I was going to fix it since NEPA (the power supply company) had not deemed it fit to supply electricity throughout the weekend. There was still some juice in the Inverter but I wasn’t going to wait until it was completely dead.<\/p>\n

But I digress. So I had the lamp on the kitchen table and my cousin once removed (truth be told, I can never seem to get that \u201cremoved\u201d thing straight. She is the daughter of my much older cousin) comes into the kitchen, sees the new lamp and goes \u201cIsn’t that a little too pink?\u201d to which I responded: \u201cI am connecting with my gay side.\u201d<\/p>\n

Which of course got me thinking and that is how \u201cwe\u201d arrived at this blog entry.<\/p>\n

Now, I don\u2019t have anything against gays (or more appropriately LGBTs \u2013 that\u2019s Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transvestites). Having said that, so that people know where I stand in the ongoing debate (not the one about whether there is a global \u201cGay Agenda\u201d or not), I would rather prefer that all gay people are straight (says the chap who has never had a girlfriend \u2013 but that as they say, is another story).<\/p>\n

So anyways, I cut the two cables from the burnt plug (fully convinced that I could tell them apart), only to return later with an older plug I found lying around to discover that the two cables where actually the same colour! I called up a friend who is a mechanical engineer (but into the Inverter business) and he said it is unlikely that I would do any damage no matter how I connect the cables (neutral and live) but just to be sure I don\u2019t mistakenly reverse the polarity, he would have his electrical engineer staff come around in the morning to fix it (fortunately while I was battling the plug, NEPA, a sure member of the pantheon \u201cbrought\u201d the electricity supply back!).<\/p>\n

So I abandoned my electric dreams and went back to the kitchen. There was a whole smoked chicken to cook and fry, along with some Irish potatoes (cook only). So there I was at 38, scraping away at the skin of a couple of potatoes (no, I am not talking about myself. I am younger than 38. I was referring to my twin who turned 38 back in April). Now I don\u2019t have anything against peeling potatoes. In fact if I do get married, whoever the lucky (opinions may differ of course) lady is, we will man the kitchen together for as long as she wants me there. What I am saying is that I do know how to be a couch potato \u2013 I don\u2019t mind sitting back in the parlor and knocking back a few or playing with whatever console (game) is available along with that 55-inch OLED TV and 7-speaker surround sound system (just saying).<\/p>\n

But again I digress. What I was saying is that I don\u2019t believe all that nonsense about \u201cI was born this way\u201d (Lady G. can literally lick my \u2026 and if you want to sue me, make sure it\u2019s in the US of A. Don\u2019t forget to send a one-way ticket while you are at it. I can be your house guest while we duke it out in the court system and the court of public opinion \u2013 whatever that is worth nowadays).<\/p>\n

I warned you before. This post is \u201crude.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"pink_lamp\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Now, I concede that there is something to be said for \u201cpredisposition.\u201d We will consider \u201cpredisposition\u201d along with \u201cenvironment\u201d as they are invariably linked. Let me explain. Take a boy who has 5 sisters. Let\u2019s say he is not the first born but somewhere around the middle. Now there are several possible outcomes.
\nOne, if he is effeminate to start with, he may grow up to be:
\na. just still effeminate, or
\nb. gay (\u201cwow sis, that dress looks great on you, but I bet it will look even better on me!\u201d), or
\nc. just a regular chap who has seen it all (maybe even jaded), or
\nd. Terror on the girls.<\/p>\n

Two, if he wasn’t effeminate to start with, we could probably cross out option (a) above.<\/p>\n

If any of that doesn’t make sense, you are in good company. I don\u2019t understand it either. Nothing to lose sleep over.<\/p>\n

Which reminds me of a pair of twins we had back in my secondary school days. I went to a boys-only secondary school. They were reasonably alike but definitely not identical. Very good footballers so they were quite popular. But they had another skill up their sleeves. They both had a tendency to want to share several juniors\u2019 beds. I think they were lonely (tongue in cheek). Well, it got to a point where what they were up to became common knowledge. In addition, certain of their \u201cvictims\u201d started walking \u201cfunny\u201d (the Yoruba term was \u201cgan-di\u201d as in \u201cgan-di rin\u201d \u2013 \u201cwalking uncomfortably with the buttocks jutting out or as if they had something between their legs\u201d \u2013 that\u2019s actually not very explanatory \u2013 all men have something between their legs \u2013 but you get my meaning I am sure).<\/p>\n

Well, one Saturday, the whole boarding house ganged up on them. An assembly was called, where they were named and shamed. Then the whole student body (boarders) literally ran them out of the hostels and the school. I can\u2019t for the life of me remember whether they actually finished their education in the school (may be as \u201cday\u201c students if the shame wasn’t too much \u2013 but definitely not as boarders!)<\/p>\n

Their case is probably an aberration. Two twin brothers! On the other hand, maybe they were \u201cexperimenting\u201d between the two of them before they then found themselves in the much more \u201cfertile\u201d grounds of the boarding house.<\/p>\n

But I digress. So I told my cousin I was getting in touch with my gay side. Let\u2019s leave that there for a minute shall we.<\/p>\n

But what has extremists (in the subject) got to do with all this? I am glad you asked. If you live in my country and you don\u2019t know what \u201cBoko Haram\u201d is, stop reading right now. Go over to Google and \u201cgoogle\u201d the term. When you are familiar with the term, come back here \u2013 I am not going anywhere soon. Unless of course the second coming happens, in which case if you are still reading this, then you are in a shitload of trouble and you better start praying that \u201cBoko Haram\u201d gets you soon!<\/p>\n

If you still don\u2019t know who or what \u201cBoko Haram\u201d is, here is a brief explanation. They are a group (or several loosely affiliated groups) of extremists who have sworn against \u201cWesternization\u201d in all forms. They have caused untold damage to lives and properties in the country. The government finally woke up one day, suddenly had an \u201cEureka\u201d moment and decided \u201cwe won\u2019t take their shit anymore!\u201d and sent the military to put them down. That \u201cengagement\u201d is still ongoing.<\/p>\n

Now, while I continue to pray that common sense prevail in this country, and we somehow get beyond our tribalistic agendas which are holding us back as a nation, one should still plan for all contingencies. After all, it wasn’t raining when Noah built the Arc (that\u2019s not an original saying from me \u2013 I borrowed it). Though it is highly unlikely (they thought the titanic couldn’t sink), there is a chance (even if it is one in 170 million) that this country may become the fiefdom of the extremists (God forbid bad thing!). But I am prepared \u2013 can you see the \u201ctuft\u201d on my chin? If you are\u00a0 a man and you don\u2019t have one, better start growing one now \u2013 the difference between keeping and losing your head may just be that fuzz on your chin!<\/p>\n

Now, as I have said before, I do not know if there is (or not) a \u201cGay agenda\u201d. But if we swing to another extreme possibility, and we become more gay than not, then I am prepared as well.\u00a0 All I need do is whip out my pink-white lantern and I am totally in there (as in \u201cEverybody hates Chris\u201d in-there)!<\/p>\n

Which brings us back full cycle to where we started from. No one has a right to hate another (or another\u2019s way of life \u2013 you may of course dislike their way of life \u2013 but that\u2019s totally different from hate \u2013 and it shouldn’t prompt you to do heinous things). God gave us all free will (to choose). We can try within reasonable limits to convince another of what we think is right or wrong, but under no circumstances should we turn that to hate or denigration (of the party or parties with different sociological \u201cleanings\u201d). If indeed someone\u2019s way of life bothers you, the only way you can achieve lasting change is to show constant love \u2013 let your own way of life convince the person.<\/p>\n

I have to stop this now before I start ranting. Before I am labeled a right-winger. I am not a right-winger; neither am I a left-winger; I don\u2019t belong to the center either. I am a \u201ccan\u2019t we all just get long?\u201d kind of guy (that was from Rodney King).<\/p>\n

At last, I think with that I have succeeded in convincing you (as opposed to my learned colleague) once and for all, to make love not war! You are probably wondering why I am so excited (same here too). It is either I am going to win the lottery tomorrow, or the sugar and alcohol in the bottle of Coca-Cola and Smirnoff Ice I took just as I started writing this article that\u2019s responsible (\u201cI feel good!\u201d).
\n“Kids, don’t mix Sugar and Ice, hmmn-kay.”<\/p>\n

18\/06\/2013 (01:34AM)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

G.E.L (Gays, Extremists and a little pink Lamp) So let\u2019s start with a disclaimer. This blog post is meant to be rude. Don\u2019t read too much into it. I am now going to start from the beginning \u2026 or as … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":336,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[145,414,589,695,748,865,912,1037,1058,1099],"class_list":["post-966","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-boko-haram","tag-gay","tag-lgbt","tag-nigeria","tag-pantheon","tag-saturday","tag-smirnoff","tag-united-states","tag-warfare-and-conflict","tag-yoruba"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/966","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/336"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=966"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/966\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=966"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=966"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.itayemi.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=966"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}