R.I.P. O. S.!
A close friend called me now with some sad news. A colleague in the same field (I.T.) was shot dead by armed robbers this morning. The story is still unclear, but he was supposedly accosted at an ATM this morning (in Victoria Island!) on his way to church with his family. So I assume he was shot in front of them (I believe he and the wife had children or at least a child).
I learnt he had only just got a house (built, bought, don’t know). Most of our interactions back then (about a decade ago) was over the phone. My company provided some Internet services for his company. But I learnt he was an easy-going guy.
I have met a few young widows/widowers and it is not fun. All I could think is “God have mercy!”
I remember some nice young lady with 3 kids living next to my parents house in Ibadan for a year or so. It wasn’t funny for her. I think the husband was a lawyer who died in an auto accident or so. The whole family (as should be expected) missed the dad. The kids were restless and I seem to remember some of the continuous crying was for the dad. One could only imagine the crying the lady was doing in private as well. The children (especially the boys) were at the age where an extra hand (father if possible) was definitely needed for their exuberance and highly energetic behaviour.
The loss is a double-whammy for the remaining partner. There is the emotional aspect on one hand. Then on the other hand is the financial aspect. No thanks to decades of mismanagement and corruption in Nigeria, most homes require the income of both partners to live reasonably well (scratch that, “to survive” is the more apt description).
It is probably also easier for a widower than a widow. Women seem to find it easier to marry a widower compared to men who are for various reasons (some completely valid) very reticent when it comes to marrying a widow.
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This country! This life! Thus given the above, it makes me wonder at times if all the effort is worth it. But I guess that’s the lazy man’s approach?
We can’t tell what the future holds. But with the way the world and this country is, I (think) I would rather forgo the happiness of getting married and having children if for some reason I knew I would die relatively young. But maybe that is the selfish man’s approach as well?
But we can’t foretell the future, so we do what we can with today.
RIP O.S. May God comfort those you have left on earth, grant them strength and ease their pain. May He provide for them materially as well as emotionally. Amen.