I believe the saying that prayer does not change God but us (neither does fasting) may be true. I have come to understand accept Psalm 115 verse 3 “But our God is in the heavens: he hath done whatsoever he hath pleased.” No amount of crying, not any other means of blackmail will change God. He is afterall not variable. Because in the grand scheme of things – whether we believe it or not; whether we accept it or not – each of us is just one of the uncountable billions of His creation. That does not mean he pays no heed to us or that we are negligible – it just means that our wants are our wants; our desires and lastly our needs – the “our”, the “I”, the “we” makes it almost certainly selfish in intent (whether wholly or partially)

The nice people at the US embassy refused to grant me a visiting NIV. No strong family ties in Nigeria. How absurd! But at least the officer said I am young and single (maybe that was a come-on?). Geez! And I didn’t catch on!

Is it not strange that all the actual officers that review applications are whites and the black-americans just do the initial document checking? BFR!

The Triad

I was in what looked like an office. At first I thought I was sitting up, but later I was definitely lying down on my back on a bed or surfer. There was a semi-partition in the room.
Soon, 4 Asians (Chinese I think) – one lady and 3 men came into the room – all leather-jacketed and looking like they mean business. Two of the men sat down while the  lady and the 3rd man ll flirty-like made their way behind the partial partition. From the angle where I was, I couldn’t quite see what they were up to, but the way the other two looked at me persuaded me to mind by own business.
Soon the girl moved out into the open and it was clear the 3rd guy was dead behind the partition. She stood over me with the knife in her hands looking all mean and just about ready to add me to the tally.  After a brief pause, she placed the knife in my hands and they all left. May be it was the paranoia that arises from watching too many films,  but the next thing I did was to grab a piece of clothing and carefully wipe my fingerprints off the knife.

– – – – – fade to white – – – – –

Thou shalt be sober always

I have added Philadelphia (Tom Hanks, Antonio Banderas, Denzel Washington) to the list of films you should not watch with company (do so at the danger of being labeled a sissy!). I survived most of the film intact until the scene at the end of the film when his family was bidding him good night at the hospital. Let’s just say the guy that broke down had additional company!

Whatever happened to Mila Jovanovich (joan of arc)! Surgery gone wrong or new mum? Saw her on TV talking about resident evil and she looked quite strange (to put it delicately). Bye bye to my fantasies.

Had a TGIF timeout at my office 2 Fridays ago. Now I know not to take 2 bottles of Gordon Spark at one sitting (or standing). I normally take maltina (or one of its competitors) but got only one bottle of that. So I took 2 Gsparks (before and after the Maltina). My gait was still steady but the effect

was still on 4 hours later. Luckily I could still act normal but felt like I should just shut my eyes forever. My head felt very strange!

No Calls On Sunday (30/07/2007)

I don’t take calls on Sunday. It’s my day for doing nothing.
I become one with all. I am as still as the air on a
boiling mid-july afternoon. I do not think about the past nor
ponder the future. iExist.
“Nobody here! Nobody here!” – my ringtone for Sundays. Raising
one unenthusiastic brow, iGlance at the number on the display.
It’s my private line – known to very few people. It must
be an emergency … iGrudgingly take the call!
“Hello Y, we have an issue here. It’s not within your JD but
we know you know the stuff. The vendor is unreachable,
and if we wait till tomorrow heads will roll. Please help!”
“How did you get this number?”
“Long story my brother, X Knows J’s friend K knows D who has M’s number …”
(iWill do some head-banging tomorrow but today iMust be calm,
it’s the only way to achieve the oneness iSeek)
Describe the problem to me, iCommand.
Unfamiliarity with subject shows through long-winded-round-about
Problem rare but known solution exist in knowledge-base and the
google-verse (iNternet).
Check the system in 10minutes. Cut the line, tap the keyboard
of my modded laptop and it hums to life like some discarded
machine from the matrix. This is my world where I am “master
and commander”. iRASsed into the Cel-Plex and fix the
problem. iContribute to “Meet the Challenge”. iHappy.
The caller’s boss will call tomorrow. It’s nice to
be acknowledged from time to time. But too much publicity; too
much craving for fame and the oneness is lost forever. I am
the shadow behind the scene. iSolve. iExist. I don’t take
calls on Sunday.
Gradually I drift off again, oneness with-all within my grasp
… never been this close … my principles have been broken.
What is a man without principles … “Nobody he..” – iAwake.
iAgitate. It’s a THIRD of a ring. iGlance at number.
Bl**dy flasher! Now I take calls on Sunday …
what is a man without principles … iRephrase … I don’t MAKE calls on Sunday!
New principles iNstalled. iConceed. iAccept. iRelax. iTerminate processing.