A service, a bar, a beer and a train ride

Went to the church service this morning, I drifted off a couple of times during the sermon, not that the sermon was boring but I didn’t go to bed until almost 4 in the morning. After doing a little socializing after service, we headed home and branched at a pub – I could see the pastor frowning as the beer was ordered – I don’t drink usually. Anyway, we had brunch to go with it – a mix of various dishes – chicken, sausage in some sauce, some sort of stick meat and the universal fried chips of course.
In the afternoon I headed to a family friends place practically on the outskirts of London. At the London Bridge station, I had to switch from the tube to a surface train. Between taking a few snaps, and carrying a box on Indomie (all the way from Nigeria – reminds me of the Lacazera advert) and a congo or 2 of fresh brown beans all in a plastic bag, I dropped my Oyster card – and of all  places it slipped right down about 3 feet below unto the tracks. There I was on the train with a bag in my hands, looking at the card down below and the train about to take off. I stepped off, looked again at the card and concluded that there was no way I could reach it with the train just a few inches away – the least that would happen is that I would lose my right hand (sorry, I really don’t have a spare). So I let the train leave, then went in search of one of the station attendants. He got a picker, got down on his knees and asked me to watch his head (watch out for any train approaching the station) while he fished out the card for me. Luckily, another train going my way soon pulled up at the station.
Had a lovely time with the family, more family than friend really.  In return, I got a 9kg bag  to take back with me to Nigeria (I wasn’t paid for my courier service by the way).
The following advertisement is from the bar:
With vigour we recommend
1. Our silent assassin, Kentucky Bullet Bourbon (like a smooth double tap to the head 😉
2. Sailor Jerry spiced rum with ginger ale … try it, you’ll want to tell the tale … Enjoy!!

My take on the above:
Go ahead and try 2, hell, try 1 and 2, but note: Not recommended for mafiosi, if you have skeletons in the cupboard you would rather keep hidden or have secrets to keep – because you will soon be running your mouth off and that can be dangerous to your health – enuf said.

Some more wine adverts from the same place:
In the white room

Red red wine

Champagne supernova

OUR FOOD – your soul to squeeze, hope we test and further please …

My comment: each title above was nested between a pair of musical notes – and from the “our food” advert, a song must have been going on in the head of whoever wrote it, because I suspect he must have had a “little” something to keep the chill out.

Lagos + constant Power = London (sort of …)

London – I won’t miss its weather. If Nigeria had constant electricity supply, one can control the weather (in ones house I mean). But in a place like Nigeria with the epileptic power supply, I would prefer a weather which is always cold to one which is always hot. For one thing, I think the cold weather kills off all the troublesome insects – especially mosquitoes! In cold weather, one can layer on as many cloths or blankets as it takes to get warm, whereas in a hot environment, what do you after removing all your clothing and still find the weather unbearably hot? Besides, it is not socially acceptable to walk around naked, even in ones house – unless you live alone, and don’t offend the neighbors by stepping out into the backyard for example. Then there are the mosquitoes – they wait around the corners until the lights are out.
So I will probably take Lagos (actually I prefer Ibadan) over London anyday if there was constant power supply. NEPA has promised that the power supply will be constant by the middle of the year – yes, true, I am a black-belter in Taikwondo with a platinum-selling album in the US of A – in my dreams.

Ramblings (11/03/2008)

Long day. Went with my brother, a colleague of his and his wife to check out some used (brand new by Niger standards) cars – the spec we wanted was a Mercedes with full leather upholstery, diesel engine and roomy boot for the baby buggy – the madam is “expecting”

Two similar cars had a 5,000 difference in price, but the lower mileage on the more expensive one wasn’t enough temptation to justify it’s price. I thought to myself that for 5,000 quid, I would by a Hershey cow (or whatever strain is renown for its hide), kill it, skin it, tarn it and upholster the car myself, and still have enough to put down on a Harley!

On a building, the advert goes “Brandies, Liqueurs,Wines, Prince of Wales” and I didn’t know that one could get a personal copy of Charles (good for him, he’s gone PLC, it’s not easy paying the army of servants on the paltery sum handed out by the government to maintain the castles, is it?) Of course, I am not sure he is drinkable – except may be to some ladies, and how replenish-able is he?

Yes, blacks have thick lips, but it doesn’t help when parents watch their children grow up without making the extra effort to get them to keep those lips together. It seems worse in the UK where lots of young girls have obviously been letting their lips hang down. I started a little later than I might have myself, but better late than never.

Shopping at the 24-hour ASDA store, I was confronted with play free black jackcasino bonus codebackgammon gambling,online backgammon gamblingstrip video poker gamesonline black jack gameonline blackjack gamblingfortunelounge online casinogambling casino online bonusfree casino,play free casino game,free casino slotsdownload casino gamevideo poker strategieshand held video pokerno deposit bonus online casinodouble bonus video pokerfree video poker downloadsplay free casino slotsslot machine 98jeux jack blackcasino en ligne sans depotjouez au casino en ligneune enquête casino on netle casino en ligne françaiscasino jeux toulousewww casino 770bonus des casinos en lignejeu de la boule casinomachines à sousblack jack mocasino jeux en francejeux baccarat en lignejeux casino poker gratuitesmeilleures promotions en lignecasino de pariscasino en ligne bonus,casino en ligne,casino en ligne bonus gratuitesjeu baccaratonline gamblingcodes bonus casino770casino francais bonusla roulette de zidanenew casino bonuswww casino de parisrussian roulettejeu loteriecasino 1 heure gratuitesjeu slot machinejeux baccarat gratuitesjeux casino gratuitesbonus sans dépot casinole casinovideo poker gratuites en ligne what’s become an alarming problem in the UK (and especially Scotland I think) – the cheapness of liquor has made it easier to maintain a life-destroying habit, everyone of all ages are busy desiccating their livers – why, I saw one mum give her toddler a tot to keep out the cold! (that was a joke of course) But indeed underage drinking is a serious problem. And not to mention that a large part of the population smoke. Ok, they are probably not anywhere our friends in China, but it’s still significant.

Etu Brutu?

God bless the Romans, long live the queen!
Went to M&S for take out lunch and as usual the dangerous (tongue-in-cheek) Mayonnaise had infested everything edible – but then I found “oakham chicken and pancetta caeser” – sandwich with chicken slices, ham or so, and some veggies.

As I munched contentedly on the stuff all the while thinking the package was big enough for 2, it suddenly struck me that if a millenium or so ago, Caesar had fed the stuff to his lieutenants, he would have had a very satisfied Brutus (thank you) and wouldn’t have needed to utter the popular phrase “Etu Brutu?!”

But it seems humans are destined to repeat the mistakes of the past, otherwise Marie Antoniette wouldn’t have lost her head over food (“No bread? Let them eat cake”) . I rest my case.

Learn the Geography or stick with the Plan

If you don’t know the geography then don’t change the plan.

I noticed that I usually ended up at the Moorgate tube station when going home, whereas I came in through the Old street station in the morning. So today I decided that since the Moorgate station appeared closer to the training venue, I would get off the tube there instead (the station before the Old Street) So I got out of the station and headed in the direction I thought would take me to Tabernacle street. Well, it didn’t take long for me to realise I was completely lost. I went round and round or should I say square because at some point I asked for directions and was told to go round a big square with – I think – the Liverpool station in the middle. Anyway, on the other side I was directed again to the place I was coming from. I finally got on a bus after more than 30minutes roaming around in the cold. Paid the 2 pound fare to Old street (where I should have got off the tube originally) only to realise that I could have used my Oyster card. I asked the driver for a refund and he told me the machine had gobbled up the money – sorry mate!

So after almost an hour, I ended up at the training venue!

By the way, what’s with the Mayonnaise addiction? I was at Marks & Spensers and almost every edible thing in the place had been Mayonnaised – oh! here is chicken sandwich, that should be tasty – but then you see the mayonnaise on the label. Ok here is some ham sandwich, may not be good for my health long-term, but definitely good for my belly, Oh no! it’s got the stuff too! What happened to equality? Yes, it’s a battle between white and black, but not in the context you are thinking off you bloody racist (not of course my racially-agnostic readers :-). Why not black/red pepper or even Marmite sometime? Must it always be creamy mayonnaise? This is a democracy – must I remind all and sundry?

Crank dat Naija boy!

Will the real whites in London please stand up?

Heathrow’s lounge looked as it probably would if it were in an Asian country such as India or Pakistan (I guess 🙂 My Indian (loosely defined) friends were everywhere one looked, the seats, kiosks, walkways etc

And I wondered into one of those flash kiosks at the airport where of course Elvis (the bandit) graciously parted me with my 1 pound.

And T-Mobile ripped me off by selling me a 1-pound SIM card with no credit on it for 10 pound.

There is no true detribalized or deracialized person. It’s just degrees that differ. I have said it before, that the actual process of trying to see everyone as equal (no colour) already implies that the person’s “difference” is apparent to you in ways that differ from how a fellow of the same race would think. I noticed that African (loosely defined) taxi drivers automatically gravitated towards blacks they see, and taking the Yoruba’s saying literarily “Afoju jo rawa” – some even automatically guess your tribe and speak to you in Yoruba for example – I am sure this sometimes fail when they wrongfully identify a fellow sojourner from home. They appear very helpful too – the African is a warm, gregarious, sociable soul on the average anyway. Either from hoping they will get my custom or not, at least I was able to call my brother free on 2 separate persons mobile phones – the first actually offered his phone when he saw me trying to call from one of the commercial terminals. Yes, the calls were free to them, but it was still heartwarming. They seem to treat people of other races the same, but will the other people treat the blacks the same? Mixed in with the basic instinct of self-preservation, mistrust of outsiders and ensuring the survival of the group is probably our track record of being 419s etc. It’s like, if a black man brushes past you, your credit card is automatically overdrawn, your bank account emptied, your credit history a mess, and your phone hijacked all at once! What paranoia! 🙂

I asked one of the security staff hanging about in the walkways where I could get a SIM card and he subjected me to quite an interesting question and answer session – he was pleasant enough but I am sure at a subconscious level, he would have been happy to nab an illegal black alien if possible. If there were no racial undercurent, no matter how unintentional or uncounscious, how come my simple question led to a host of questions from him for which I had to supply answers, only after which he then directed me to where I could buy a SIM?
Where are you coming from – Nigeria
What do you do – IT/Telecomms
Did you pay cash for your (plane) ticket – yes
Was it your money or did you borrow it – mine, I work
What’s the purpose of your visit – holiday
How long will you be staying – 3 weeks
Will you be doing anything else while you are here – no
Where will you be staying – with my brother
Where does your brother live – SW London
I am sure if I was white, he wouldn’t ask me all these questions – afterall, I was already through immigration (very jovial old guy and asked very few questions, except to call me the VISA guy when he found various valid VISAs in my passport and couldn’t decide which one to use) and on my way out of the airport. I kept a slightly amused look on my face throughout which is more or less as a result of the incredulity of the situation. Here is a man who thinks I might have borrowed money to pay for my trip, yet I am sure I earn more than he does in real terms.

Arrived at about 6:10pm Nigerian time, left the airport about 3 hours later, and didn’t get home until 2am or thereabouts – went straight to a small get-together first. Nigerians, I ate rice and plantain even though there was pounded yam on offer.

Happy New Year – plenty “Serials” (should av been posted 2 months ago)

Thank God for the New Year. Had a long leave over the Xmas break. Felt like I should stop working full-time. But like I told a colleague, the only problem with that is that company I work for will stop my salary, otherwise I see no obstacle to free-lancing full-time.

OK, nearly lost my right knee on an okada who ran into a car after miscalculating the speed at which the car was moving – that was about the first week in December.
Walked away but throughout the Xmas holiday, the knee felt really tight and uncomfortable. Still feeling something down there but much better. I guess I will have a full-body MRI or CT-scan sometime in the future.

Now I am hooked on Desperate Housewives. The drama is just engaging. I am going through Season 2 at the moment. Prison break is great too. I had promised myself that I wasn’t going to watch season 2. I felt a single season is enough based on the premise of the film and I wasn’t going to be held hostage by another 24 a.ka. Jack Bauer which I finally came to my senses and gave up watching mid-way into season 4. Heroes – season 1 was great, the TV/Network people as usual wants to ring as much cash from the cash-cow as possible by making as many seasons as possible until people get fed up with it and lose interest and the TV ratings fall. I am on episode 5 into Prison Break season 3 now. I will pick up Heroes later when there is enough episodes to watch at a stretch (which I prefer to the one episode per week approach)

New Year, new things, new resolutions – what? who? when?