Open letter to B.S. (29/07/2005)

Hi B.S.,

This is where I play the psychologist.
I believe all your “display” is just you seeking acceptance and your need to be popular. There is nothing wrong with that, but there is a lot wrong with how you have chosen to express that need.
Having said that, I think you need to fire all those yea-sayers which you have employed and who for lack of courage or fear of losing their cosy jobs have not been able (or wont) tell you the truth.

Now since I am not in your employ, I can tell it to you like it really is.
You need to clean up your act!
The fact is that you are young and seriously speaking, slightly thick. BUT not unrescuably, irretrivably thick. But that guy you have shacked up with (sorry I mean your husband) is definitely thick. He is the thick-o-meter against whom other thickheads will be measured. Seeing that you are hooked to him for life (hopefully!), “we” need to help him out. The truth is that there is no one without at least one saving characteristic or attitude. At least he was smart enough to marry you.

About your website, I will sensor it and all your releases for free. If you can arrange it, I will willingly help edit your press releases (and releases by your publicists etc) for free too.

The press can be both a friend/ally and your worst nightmare. The thing to do is to strike a balance. Frankly speaking, privacy as in “private life” approaches zero once you become a celebrity. The idea is not to not be yourself (we are all human and entitled to self-expession,)
but to ensure that your image (public perception) works for, and not against you.

Either get someone to rewrite the script for your TV show (if there is one) or employ someone to write one. In either case, I had be willing to help edit it.

I am a fan per se. There was a site that showed you from being a skinny good looking teenager
all the way through to your present form with mentions of all the attrocities you committed enroute and the self-enhancements you did. No problem, as a celebrity said, if all the people in Hollywood who have had a job done go on holiday, why, there would be nobody left in Hollywood!

Back then as a fresh teen, you really looked good in a simple shirt and jeans combo.

It is time to reform your image and get your life back on track. I will offer all the help I can, we can do Yahoo chat, MSN chat, phone (you will make the calls!) or any alternative you can think of.

Have a lovely week.

By the way, kudos to your mother for acting fast to resolve what could have been a very unfortunate situation (ending the first I-Do. Ok maybe not). She sounds like someone with lots of grey matter. The pre-knoptial agreement she got your new hubby to sign is how many pages long? 50? 80? 101 pages? Let me take a peek at it sometime over lunch eh? Good.

Remember, if you believe the sun will shine.

Omega X

Dress up or dress down

In 27-dresses, the woman says to heigl, “it must be hard to watch your younger sister get married before you” (our take: not cool)
But the face on the woman after the unexpected come-back by Katherine Heigl is a classic!

Ok, the next bit is raw, but take it lightly …
J-Lo sings “i cant control it, u put something inside of me”
and we all know what that is – it’s a baby.
And contrary to the song, we know when he got you alone, he definitely didnt try to leave.
Way to go padre, hommie – Marky-Mannnn-all-man!

Vista No-Star

I am not an MS-basher.
The MS money-making juggernaut has one simple but effective formula – make a software full of holes and performance issues and sell it
to the consumer; then make another set of software to fix the issues of the original software and sell it to the same set of consumers for more money. Don’t worry if they complain, what arethey gonna do? Start using Apple MAC or Linux? Whinnying pushovers and ninnies all!

And talking of performance, all good system users at my end realised long ago the mirage that is the Microsoft Vista Welcome screen
when the system is powered on. It seems since MS knows that one of the criteria for judging how responsive a system is – is how fast
it boots up, they decided to just put up the welcome screen up there as fast as possible, then continue the boot up process in the
background for another 2 minutes or so, during which time the unsuspecting but surprised users make many attempts to login by pressing
CTRL+ALT+DEL only to wonder why the “keyboard appears to be dead”. Now I just chill for some time after the initial welcome screen is
displayed before attempting to logging. Why punish the HP hardware for Microsoft’s sins. On the other hand, since there is a conspiracy
between all of the hardware OEMs and MS to rip off the consumer, I think I should go right ahead, but then who comes out the winner
when I have to replace the keyboard on my laptop – it’s a lose-lose situation for the consumer.
Then there is always Linux, or $30 Mac OSX on a regular PC (“Hackintosh” 🙂

And since I am not an MS basher, I wont encourage you to go to to see what other disgruntled users are up to.

Try vlite – though not recommended by MS, it may just help you to trim some but not all the fat off the bloatware that is Vista.


I suddenly found myself on the deck of a ship, with the sea a raging cauldron with the feeling
of everything being enclosed in some finite space possibly bounded by glass.
My mum was there, so was a sibling. As soon as was onboard, I noticed a couple of guys that
appear at ease on the deck. One short, one tall and I soon recognised them as two classmates who
moved together back in my secondary school days. They recognised me at about the same time.
I could vaguely recall their names.
I drifted to my mum with the enclosed sea continuing to rage, and water breaking regularly
over the sides of the vessel. People were being swept out to sea, and others were jumping in
trying to safe them. My mum was of course distraught to notice the number of people on the sea
and the fact that some were being swept under the waves.
Some were saved from the black foaming see. My sibling was on the other side of the boat and
for some reason had a single cross-eye about which my mum observed that if what medicine she
has doesnt not cure her, she would have to send for help from her friend (a nurse also) in
the U.S. …

Can’t still shake the closeness (claustrophobic-ness) of the vessel/enclosed sea even after I
woke up.

Happy Birthday Yetunde Fasipebi.