Ibadan 2 Lagos

E je ki agba adura o. Father in Jesus name …

Nigerians, when it comes to verbal abuse, we give more than we get. I may be mistaken, but I think this was the same woman that was abusing a trader 10 minutes earlier “carry your smelly mouth away. We dont want to buy Waara. You probably didn’t wash your mouth today. Smelly mouth. I already told you that the person you are trying to sell to is on the phone”
Not sure what the trader said to have brought on the attack, but one could barely hear her voice anyway.
On my trip from Lagos to Ibadan two days earlier, as we were on the last couple of miles to the final busstop, there is a tendency for passengers to get off more frequently at various stops in Ibadan town.
The lady next to me suddenly challenged the driver to be calling out the names of the stops as we approached them, to which the driver responded that the lady better mention where she wanted to get off the bus. The tone was a little dismissive, but the next retort was that “Ok O, don’t call the names out. Just seat there with your mouth like a monkey’s. Isn’t that covered by the fare the passengers paid?”
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Awon amuni deshe
Won a di eru bi eniti oun kuro nilu.
Elomi ofi ojuri Adeboye ri, won a gbe telivision siwaju won, won ama wo oun ti Adeboye n se.
Pastor Adeboye ni tie, jet loma gbe dele, enyin a wa ma fi ti yin ni awon eni eleni lara.
Ko sibi ti Olorun o si, kun le ni iyara e ko ba Olorun e soro.
Mori baba kan, in fact moni ko ma rin lo, boya ikun e ati e jo die. Kani won gbe alaisan lo Ibadan lana yen, ati ku ki won to de Ibadan.

(English translation of the preceding paragraph below:)
These people make one sin (by saying things possibly against the faith) through there actions.
They are on the move with so much luggage, it looks as if they are skipping town
Some of them have never actually seen Adeboye. A TV is placed in front of them on which they watch everything he is doing remotely.
As for Pastor Adeboye, he flies home in a jet, while all these people inconvenience others unnecessarily.
God is everywhere. Kneel down in the comfort of your room, and pray to your God.
I saw one old man walking along to the camp. In fact, I thought it was a good thing he is walking, maybe his huge stomach will shrink a little.
If an ill person was being taken to Ibadan yesterday, it’s unlikely he would make it that far, he would have died long before he gets to Ibadan. (she was talking about the standstill traffic jam of the previous Friday which she partly attributed to the “exodus” to the Redeemed Camp).

This was either the same lady that prayed at the start of the journey or another member of her group – they kept up a running commentary all the way to Lagos.

On a bus:
Jesus, the man behind the mask.

Impure Water

I am sure you have heard many pure water horror stories. 
I am going to tell you another one which was told to a close relation by a first-hand witness. The story goes like this:
A “couple” of which the wife was some sort of medical personnel (possibly a nurse) went into the “business” of selling pure water. The wife being in the medical field but not employed at the time, was good enough to ensure the “quality” of their product by boiling the water, passing it through a table filter and then bagging it by hand from the tap on the filter. Fortunately for the couple (and unfortunately for a lot of unsuspecting people out there), the wife got employed in her field again. As the husband had no other job, he decided to continue the pure water business.
Well, as business was really booming and he couldn’t keep up with the demand, he soon decided that it was the water filter was too slow, so that was removed from the production process, thereby increasing his output. Well, he still couldn’t keep up with the demand (booming business), so he decided that boiling the water and waiting for it to cool, was an unnecessary bottleneck, so that too went out of the production pipeline. Now we are left with unboiled, unfiltered water being bagged by hand.
As business was still really booming and he couldn’t keep up with the demand, he decided that bagging the water from a tank’s small tap by hand was too slow (and too painful on the back as he and his assistants had to bend low to fill the bags from the tank), so he ran the water into a big plastic vat. Sitting comfortably beside the vat with a small scoop, he continued filling the 50ml plastic bags by hand, and sealing the bags with a hand-sealer.
Did I tell you he was using water straight from the mains? Sorry, it almost skipped my mind!
The moral of the story? Let’s turn a popular Yoruba proverb on its head (if you are going to eat a toad, eat one with eggs). If you are going to drink pure water, go for bottled water from a well known source with a reputation to protect (no, I am not trying to kill our pure water cottage industry), otherwise you might as well take water straight from the mains (government water) in your house, say a quick prayer and while downing it, think to yourself that “Aye daa bo wa” (life is getting better) if you as a Nigerian can now drink water from the mains same as people in the developed countries. Couple that with the recent increased stability of the power supply (Uncle G.L.J., you can do more!), why, you could start thinking of asking your long lost-in-America relations to head back home 🙂