Impaired Judgement

Impaired Judgement

I shouldn’t write anything for a while. My judgement is impaired. Not from drinks or alcohol. I did take a break once a long time ago. Then a short one recently. But it seems it wasn’t long enough.

I have somehow managed to become the harbinger of psychological and emotional pain. The trouble that sticks like mud. But I am not wicked or spiteful (not anymore anyway).
I am trying to be a good man.

Apologies for anything on this site that is offensive. Let me know and I will take it down. My motives are not always right nor my position unselfish. But I write not only to sooth my ego (which I am trying to cut down to size), but as a form of therapy.

I will take responsibility for my actions (and inaction). I will not blame anyone else for the past nor for the present. Because ultimately I made the decisions one way or another that resulted in the outcomes I experienced.

I am (now) a better man.


She is Iwo Jima

She is Iwo Jima

She is Iwo Jima
Men like myself
Hoped to survive
Make it to the end

To plant the flag
Amidst the raging storm
To make a stake
Never mind the shells

But I broke myself on her slopes
Remember me
My bones bleached white
If they remain at all

The wooden cross
That marked my shallow grave
Long ago disappeared
Eaten by time and termites too

But where would I rather be
There’s no comfort anywhere
There’s no going home
Sing a dirge for the man that was

The desire for glory
The ache for her love
Trumps all reasoning
I – will – never – leave

The endless rain
Brings mud and despair
Yet even on those dark slopes
I look up at the skies in hope

Is God smiling, or shaking his head
Braver men found their match
Some went home broken
The rest became dreams

These tired legs – these tattered boots
These grip-less fingers – these unseeing eyes
These knots in my belly
This hunger in my soul

29,000 ghosts call her home
The sands red with their blood
She won’t be taken lightly
No, not her body, and not her soul

When she’s good and ready
The rains will stop
The sun will shine
She will give herself to whom she wills

She is Iwo Jima
Win the battle lose the war
Lose the battle win the war
Nothing can save me now

I will lay me down
The boat is burnt
There’s no escape
I embrace my fate

I take my place among many
Broken on her shores
Vague memories
Beyond redemption

She is Iwo Jima

07-June-2015. Hawaii.

FI-ne and FI-erce

FI-ne and FI-erce

She’s fine and she’s fierce
She’s fierce and she’s fine
She’s altogether something
She’s definitely the real thing

If fortune smiles on you
And she calls you her boo
Know that there are rules
They are as true as tattoos

I got lost in her eyes
But got caught by my vice
She was nasty and nice
Then as cold as ice

So if you see her
Tell her she’s the one I prefer
The torch is still burning
My Heart is still yearning

She’s fine and she’s fierce
She’s fierce and she’s fine
So says the mirror on the wall:
She’s the fairest of them all!

She’s FI-ne … and she’s FI-erce

28-Jun-2015 (11:53pm)