How or where do I start? If I have a dollar for every lady’s dating profile I have come across where the condition that takes pride of place is “make me laugh”, I would be a millionaire. Yes, I do a lot of “swiping”. I am told it’s a game of numbers.
I was chatting with a friend one day, and she started laughing because I just had my thumb swiping right without looking at the screen. If I do match with someone I am not interested in, I could always “unmatch”. Of course, there have been some cringe-worthy moments when (even though my profile is configured as “interested in women” only) I find myself matched with a guy. Those are the times I swiftly find the unmatch button! I am not homophobic, but I am only interested in women. Most of these occurrences are with either Bi or gay guys who have probably set their profile to match both sexes or just guys.
Back to the subject, the following is my opinion at the time of writing this piece and I reserve the right to change it at any time.
I think it is time women realize the simple requirement of “make me laugh” is likely a huge contributing factor to the proliferation of single baby mamas. Lots of guys have the skill to laugh all the way into your pants, and laugh all the way out, leaving you with a baby to raise by yourself while chasing them around for child support.
I know a lady under 30 with five kids (not all the same father) who’s still look for a “good man to make her laugh”. You would think after 5 kids, it would be clear to her that the “make me laugh” kitsch is not “working” for her. Maybe she needs someone to hit her over the head with a dirty diaper.
Yes, lots of guys who will “make you laugh” have no sense of responsibility for anything other than themselves – some don’t even have that. The scales only fall from your eyes when it’s too late – when there’s one or more kids involved. Then with some, the abuse starts, and the lady is wondering why the guy changed. No, he didn’t change. Your primary requirement was “make me laugh” and that’s easy when the only responsibility was still to take you out to dinner, parties, clubs, exploring.
I watch a lot of true crime shows, and it’s no longer surprising to me the number of women killed by their partners (compare 62% of women killed by their partners who are mostly men to just 5% of men killed by their partners who are mostly women). It’s a vicious circle. Single baby mamas raise these boys with no father figures to teach them how to be a man and have respect for themselves and others. All the learning they have done is from their peers and the neighborhood older “bad” boys with no discernible direction in life beyond making the next quick buck. Who would have made several trips to jail by the time they are out of their teenage years and it’s all downhill from there. They in turn produce single baby mamas and the cycle continues. Producing these boys and men who won’t or can’t take no. The famous cliche “if I can’t have you, then no one else” repeats itself over and over again.
You are in your early twenties and already saddled with a kid or more. No, it’s not because you or the other party changed. It’s because you were too young; it’s because you didn’t see beyond the “make me laugh”, it’s because you didn’t see beyond the exciting trips and partying when it was just the two of you; it’s because you think you are “grown” at 18; it’s because you got your first car at 16 making you believe you are independent and mature; it’s because you made your “own money” from working part-time at some eatery. It’s because you started dating at 14. It’s because some parents and guardians that should know better, in the name of equality, believe that if boys can run wild, they can let girls do to. But boys don’t get pregnant. Boys don’t carry a living being in their bellies for 9 months, so it’s easy for them not to have an attachment to the little screaming bundle that keeps you up at night. **
Women need to be taught to have a higher standard than “make me laugh.”
Of course, I may just be bitter that I am single because I can’t make anyone laugh.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Finito – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
** I am simplifying the scope of the problem of course. Other factors such as abuse, trauma, drugs, etc also come into play.