Tag Archives: heart

FI-ne and FI-erce

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FI-ne and FI-erce

She’s fine and she’s fierce
She’s fierce and she’s fine
She’s altogether something
She’s definitely the real thing

If fortune smiles on you
And she calls you her boo
Know that there are rules
They are as true as tattoos

I got lost in her eyes
But got caught by my vice
She was nasty and nice
Then as cold as ice

So if you see her
Tell her she’s the one I prefer
The torch is still burning
My Heart is still yearning

She’s fine and she’s fierce
She’s fierce and she’s fine
So says the mirror on the wall:
She’s the fairest of them all!

She’s FI-ne … and she’s FI-erce

28-Jun-2015 (11:53pm)

Honest Dave and the Princess

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Honest Dave and the Princess

There was once a man. We shall call him honest Dave. He lived all alone on the top of a hill and he was very lonely.
One sunny day, honest Dave thought he should check if he had any new neighbors.
So he brought out his binoculars.
To his surprise, on the hill across the valley was a big red heart!
So honest Dave thought he had better go and check it out.

When he got near the top of the other hill, he found out that the heart belonged to a fierce but beautiful princess.
And round the heart was a fence that was about waist high.

Honest Dave thought for a moment and decided that such a beautiful heart must belong to a lovely person no matter how fierce they pretended to be. So he decided he must touch the heart.
But what was he going to do about the fence?

Well. Since he was there already, he thought he might as well try and see if there was any gate in it whereby he might go in.
But as he tried each link in the fence, he noticed the fence getting taller and taller. Soon it was as high as honest Dave’s chest.
Honest Dave knew that if he continued testing the fence, it would grow so high, the heart would no longer be visible from his hilltop house across the valley. And that would make honest Dave sad.

So honest Dave went back down the valley and up to his house on top of the hill. But every few days, he would go across the valley and standing just outside the fence, he would say a few kindly words to the heart.

To honest Dave’s pleasant surprise, the fence went back down to its original height. Which pleased honest Dave a lot.

Though what honest Dave wanted most in the world was for a gate to open in the fence so he could touch the heart, he was content for the moment to have such a wonderful neighbor.

And that is the end of our story.

27/05/2014. 2:28am

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

PS: the story above is written in the style of “Tales by moonlight” always narrated by an Aunt or Uncle (or in some similar program, maybe a village grandma or grandpa). I didn’t quite start it the proper way e.g., “Children gather round. Would you like to hear a story …” But I think I ended it properly with “And that is the end of our story”

PS:
“There is nothing new under the sun.
The eyes it was meant for, saw it yesterday.
It is true, says this one, till eternity.”
(And that’s a code worthy of the Templars 🙂

Be Still

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Be Still

“Tunde tell God about your problem and listen to His still small voice. He will guide u aright.” so the SMS says.

I know you pray but will it pay?
I have strained hard.
But I haven’t heard.
Did I ever?
Or was I just clever?
Commune with thine heart upon thy bed

Yesterday I was lost in a dark place
A journey with no aim found me at the cantonment
“Halt!” said the soldier at the gates
I had trespassed. And I was ready for my recompense.

“Stay. Talk with us.
To war tomorrow we go.
Who knows if we will be back or not.
Maybe yours will be the last friendly face we’ll see.
Tell us your name and we will tell you ours.
Per chance we meet again, then not as strangers but as friends.”

So I tarried with them
And took their minds of their troubles by telling them mine
“We will gladly trade places with you friend
But we are committed and we must go
Do not think less of us if we say fear is our bedmate
We will still do our duty to man and country

And so we were till the Sun came up
And the stars went to bed
I made my way wearily home
But home is not a structure planted in the ground made from bricks and mortar
But there I went all the same

And the years went by
And I grew in age and in girth
Life got better then worse then better

On a day as strange as today
I found myself once again where I should not be
“Halt!” said the soldier at the gates
I had trespassed. And I was not ready for my recompense.

With a torch in my face and the deep black at my back
I could not see past my nose
But I heard a familiar voice
And a name sprang to mind
I whispered it lest I was wrong
But it carried all the same on that still night air

“Speak up man. Was it a name that escaped your lips?
Or would you rather lose your teeth.”
“I used to know a soldier. Perhaps it is you. A friend he was on the night he went to war.”
“It is I indeed friend. Many years have passed but nothing changes.”

I remember we met on a night just like this
Before we went to war
You look worse for wear
But who am I to talk?
Have I gained in rank or in wealth?
Or is it the gray that I hide under die or the fat that forms my second belt?
Yet I am here and many are not.
For of those you met that strange night only I remain.

I have not mourned for them.
Maybe I waited for you: for one who knew where we went and how we felt.
Will you tarry and listen to me?
I will tell you about fear and foes
About guns and ghouls
About death. Ye. Mostly about death.

So I tarried again in that place so strange.
And he told me how death came and starred in the faces of men
And took their breaths away
Some went in the rain that refused to stop
And some went in great pain
But to no one was it gain
And mourning those who were no longer with us
We passed the night with a thousand shades

And so we were till the Sun came up
And the stars went to bed
I made my way wearily home
But home is not a structure planted in the ground made from bricks and mortar
But there I went all the same

18-11-2012? (updated 6:35am 02/Mar/2013)

Amsterdam

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Amsterdam

I left my money on the streets of Amsterdam
It went up in smoke,
Chicken wings and Coke

I left my soul on the streets of Amsterdam
If you find him, he is old,
Be nice: the streets are cold 

I left my wishes on the streets of Amsterdam
An old-timer told me of the fairies
They grant wishes:
Look for them on the ferries

I left my hopes on the streets of Amsterdam
If they find their way home
Their adventures should fill a tome 

I left my heart on the streets of Amsterdam
It was lonely
Maybe it will find a partner – nice and homely 

I left my passport on the streets of Amsterdam
If you find it, don’t find me
It is right where it wants to be:
anywhere but with me

I left my past on the streets of Amsterdam
It has found friends amongst the ghosts and shadows
But it still manages to furrow my brows 

I left my body on the streets of Amsterdam
Frozen solid
A feet beneath the snow
Do not dig it up: not with the hoe or the plough 

In Amsterdam Centraal

NOTE: the piece above is not meant to convey a negative view of Amsterdam: a truly lovely city. Though I have no intention of throwing away my passport, what I said about my passport in one of the stanzas above as well as the last stanza should give an idea of how I feel about the city were I to be jobless or in a tight fix 🙂

08/Dec/2012

Monday

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“Wicked” – “You are wicked.”
Three little words, the longest no more than 6 characters. Combined, the sum of all hope – dashed.

“Time” – I have asked Chronos to raise his hand,
and still the tempest that is time matching on,
sweeping all and sundry before its unseen fury,
and leaving broken limbs and sorrowful hearts in its churning wake.

“Wish” – I have begged Chronos to roll back time
till just before anger wrapped its unreasoning fingers round my delicate brain,
costing me what I had not lost because I did not own,
but sought by words, deeds,
and a certain look in my eyes that I didn’t see
but neither did you till I had wasted 2 months and lost it all.

“Chronos” – But Chronos is the figment of fearful men’s imagination,
who knowing not hat to do with the vagaries of nature,
ascribed power to chimeric figureheads in order to still beating hearts near bursting point.

“Pray” – So I turned to God and prayed,
asking for a miracle of gargantuan girt.
“Selfish request! Pharaoh’s bones long since dissolved to nutrients beneath Jordan’s waves! Does God still harden mortal men’s hearts or soften them because of prayers raised by earthly beings?” screamed the “devil”,
whose name should be spelled in subscript letters to dishonour his base nature, vile and to be reviled till hell freezes over.

“Alas!” – he was right.
Would a mere mortal command God to put love in another’s heart?
Would God deign it fit to answer such a prayer were it said upon bended knees
rubbed raw by rough-edged stones
coated in amber fluidly flowing carrying plasma to replenish the patched earth beneath the scorching Sun?

“Monday” – just like any other day …
But wait! A chance to think less those thoughts
that weigh like leaden weights on burdened brain
and rob the eyes of peaceful sleep.
Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. Who cares.
Not the man who just lost the family’s food to the one-armed bandit down the road while seeking 3 cherries that unleashes the flood of unlimited income.
Not the fellow dying slowly on the bridge over the River Kwai.
Not the man you smile at.

“Monday” – Just another dreary day in an endless sequence of days in weeks in months in years in wandering the featureless desert of hopelessness by lost souls seeking forgiveness and deliverance where none may be found. Monday.

LondonBeat

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So “where my life at?”
Let’s leave that question for a minute. I have been writing of course, but I can’t put the stuff that I have been writing recently up for certain “reasons”. So in the meantime, I will put stuff up by other people.
Generally, if I like a song, I usually go and look up the artiste and the lyrics. Recently, a radio station played some golden oldies and the song “I’ve been thinking about you” by LondonBeat came up. That was an all-time favourite! Probably before I even knew what else my heart was for apart from pumping blood to all parts of my body. Of course now I am painfully aware of that other function (of the heart)! Oh! The innocence of youth! Yeah! Go ahead and say it – I came late to the party (as usual) – but at least I came 🙂

So below is the lyrics from the song. Now I will go and put it in auto-play loop and listen to it over and over again for a while 🙂

I’ve been thinking about you (by LondonBeat)

We must have been stone crazy when we thought we were just friends
‘Cause I miss you, baby, and I’ve got those feelings again.
I guess I’m all confused about you.
I feel so in love, oh, baby, what can I do?

I’ve been thinking about you, I’ve been thinking about you.
I’ve been thinking about you, I’ve been thinking about you.
Shi-pow-pow!

Suddenly we’re strangers, I watch you walking away.
She was my one temptation, oh, I did not want her to stay.
Deep down, I’m still confused about you.
I feel so in love, oh, baby, what can I do ?

I’ve been thinking about you, I’ve been thinking about you.
I’ve been thinking about you, I’ve been thinking about you.
Shi-pow-pow!

What good is being her without you?
I feel so in love, oh, baby, what can I do ?

I’ve been thinking about you, I’ve been thinking about yo.
I’ve been thinking about you, I’ve been thinking about you.
Shi-pow-pow!
I’ve been thinking about you, I’ve been thinking about you.
I’ve been thinking about you, I’ve been thinking about you.
Shi-pow-pow!

Cupid is dead

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Cupid is dead

I prayed to the God of love
And worshipped his middling form
I did not care that he looked like a grownup babe
And cavorted with nymphs in nothing but his very skin

What I wanted done, I thought only he could do
He failed me at every turn
Worse, he laughed loud at my every loss
And told a hundred jokes at my sorry face

So I tricked his curly head
Wrestled his puny arrow from his stubby grip
And dipping it in the dragon’s blood
I stuck it in his ugly heart
I waited till he bled no more
Then burnt his godless form
And scattering his ashes to the winds, I told Zeus to kiss my ass

So if you find you cannot fall in love
Or love finds you not, no matter how hard you try
Do not blame Cupid (no longer the god of love)
Because I killed him dead

Dead I said.

(06/08/2012 – 1:21AM)

Disclaimer

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Disclaimer

I put up a lot of stuff on this blog. They are not all meant to be taken literally as “gospel” truth. Most of what I write is what I think up when there is time on my hands (or not).

Yes, some of the entries have a little bit of me (don’t they all) mixed in there, but the bulk of each entry is completely made up. Except some I write in the first person (what?) – that sounds even more confusing to me.

Take “Happiness Lost” (July 16, 2012) for example. True, I  was sad when I wrote it (don’t ask – I won’t tell – but it means the prayers apply). But that’s about as true as it gets – except for maybe that “offered heart” bit. I didn’t go to any of those places; didn’t meet any of those people; didn’t do any of those things; and there was NO – and there still is NO broken heart. It was purely for artistic effect. It just “flowed” well with the picture I was painting so it was almost “natural” to express it that way (artistic “liberties”). Put another way, a broken heart presupposes a previous state in which a couple of hearts (not one) were in some amalgamated state – well, that may be true concerning the fellow in the “narrative”, but was definitely not true of me (I agree the last sentence may sound like psycho-babble – if you think so too, let’s take it offline). I apologize if it came across as if I have a broken heart or someone broke my heart as that is not true (clarifying things – I think I have done enough damage already without adding that to it)

Also, take as another example, “The strangest thing happened to me yesterday” (July 11, 2012), my sister actually doubted I wasn’t lying when I assured her on the phone that I hadn’t got myself run over by a car. Well, I should probably take it as a compliment if the story sounded (or read) that believable!

I put my foot in my mouth a lot (read: say and do the wrong things) and it’s obvious I write the wrong things as well. Or go “dark” and “disappear”. So I hurt people (and who would have thought – myself as well) or manage to enstrange them. Unfortunately, if I don’t write, I would probably do something more inappropriate, so I think I will stick to writing :-(.

So, in the mean time, I am working on a lot of stuff personally and I hope spiritually with the goal of becoming a better person all round (read: take responsibility; don’t finger-point; know when to stop; talk; smile; talk some more; apologize; be reasonable; forgive; forget; trust; move; do; no second-guessing; no dilly-dallying; no shilly-shallying; get rid of the sarcasm; say what I mean, and say it at the proper time – not when it’s all gone southwards; pray and listen; believe the 4-letter word will happen sometime; positivity under all conditions; live! don’t just exist; dance?; be friendly; smile some more; etc)

A big thanks to my loyal, part-time and random readers/visitors. I appreciate the traffic.

I can’t promise to always keep it fresh, but I will try.

And if you ever look up and see a man soaring across the sky (“Look mum! No wings!”), it means I finally nailed it – that is, my faith finally made a mustard seed look like a microbe!

Have a lovely weekend. When we meet, we shall smile.

NB: It’s hard to change. I say I want to be straightforward and then I pretend the “stuff” above is random, when it is not. I am hoping “someone” will read it and conclude it is positive rather than offensive.

NB: This is the longest post I have written in a long time. Not because of the length in words, but because it is still not “right”, and I have already re-edited/updated it about 15  20 times. The phone is right here beside me, but “sorry” has lost its meaning …

Last Edit: I wish I could make you read this. That poem wasn’t meant to be taken literally. I want to say I am fine, that I am alright. But I am not, since I have once again caused you pain. What to do …

03/08/2012: No new entries until this “thing” is resolved 🙁