It’s amazing where and how people connect/bond. It was raining cats and dogs this morning, so I didn’t leave the house until about 15minutes to 12 (noon). The street was flooded and I left the house in a pair of boots and an umbrella over my head and my PC bag slung on my back. Two streets away a man approached me from the opposite direction. He had on a raincoat reaching down to his calves and a pair of boots. I am looking at him and he is looking at me. On the street, we were probably the only 2 people completely immune to the weather. A thin smile spread my lips and he smiled in turn. As he passed by me he said “how are you” to which I replied “fine sir”. Neither of us stopped and it all took a split second. But it was us against the world briefly. Two members of the brotherhood of the rain-mockers. We could look amuzed at the rain as it tries to make us as wet and miserable looking as some of the unprepared fellow humans rushing to get out of the drenching downpour!
Another couple of streets away, I came to a building with a man and a little boy standing in front. I noticed a little rat cowering beside the drain at the front of the house. I bent down for a closer look, despite the fact that it was a vermin, i still felt sorry for it. I went forward a few feet, turned back, whipped out my blackberry and snapped a couple of pictures of the rat. The man watched me in action, then commented: “you wan snap the rat? There are others, look over there. Them dey live under the gutter. Na the rain drive them commot”
Within a radius of 2 feet, there were actually about 3 or 4 little rats shivering at various locations.
The pictures aren’t too clear and I will probably toss them. I should really get a compact camera.

It was in a busy pub in Ghana. Mugabe was sitting at a table with some of his security operatives. There was some young men also at the same table – discussing football, and some other issues.
Mugabe says “I like Ghana very much, especially the constant electricity. Foreign policy is dear to my heart”
Fortunately I was at the same table and with my brother-inlaw’s camcorder. I apprehensively put it on and started recording. The security operatives had a hostile look but didn’t make any attempt to stop me. I wanted to ask if I could take a picture with Mugabe, but the atmosphere coupled with the operatives’ unease and my own fiddling with the camcorder, I lost the opportunity. They soon got up and left.

It was 7:15am. I got up, time to go to class (Oracle 11g RAC), we had agreed to come in early to do the practice labs.

19-July-2008

I finally decided to go to the hospital today – haven’t been feeling like myself for a couple of days.
I couldn’t find the company’s special medical card which we were supposed to present at the hospital
to show that we are part of the scheme, but i went all the same.
One of the ladies at the reception insisted that there was no other way to register a new patient
unless I produce the card. So I asked her that what will happen if i drop dead while seated in front
of her, to which she started smiling (she had no replies to that!)
Her colleague took over, asked for my ID card, gave me a couple of forms to fill and that was that.
As a background, 3 weeks ago, I had a bout of Malaria – took Nivaquine, then Atesunate. Was OK for about a week, then the fever returned supported by headache and this hourly stomach cramp that screamed “You have got to go now!” Took Amoxyl for 5 days (dont self-medicate, a doctor prescribed the drugs to me)
Anyways, I am at the hosptal (a couple of streets away from my house) and the only thing In was missing was either a pregnant wife or a wife plus little baby and I’d have been right at home amidst the bustling crowd.
I was taken to the office next door, where a friendly lady took my vitals (reading). Digital thermometer under my tongue took my temperature in about 5secs, digital blood pressure reader (was a little too tight I think). The scale was still the common type that had the little counter weight that was moved around until a balance is achieved to read ones weight (I came in at 74.5Kg).
Saw the doctor who was a little curt at first, but thawed somewhat when he learnt that my dad was a retired member of the frat 🙂
2 young ladies took my blood (reminder to self: drink lemon tea, blood tonic and Milo to replenish what you lost to the hospital) One looked like she had a “sucky” morning. I thought a little too much fuzz about locating a suitable vein – “right there ladies, I can see at least 3!” After much tapping and proddinh, followed by a vigorous scrub with the spirit-soaked cottonwool, and in we go!

Then it was back to the reception area to wait for the test result. A good opportunity to observe the human traffic. I couldn’t resist the urge to take the picture below (sneaky sideways snap while pretending to do something else) – cute little baby.

Dr ( ….) came out of one of the offices. She was immediately recognisable from her picture in the True Love magazine column she writes. She looks good but in my opinion (held for quite a while from just her picture in the mag) she needs to lose some pounds – but hey! If the husband is not complaining, who am I? But don’t forget the Cholesterol …

A well-dressed woman came in walking so gingerly that a little touch would probably have sent her sprawling. But trust Nigerians and “form” – one would have thought a woman who could barely walk would have on flat heels but she had on these 2-inch heels! I guess “form” thrumps comfort any day!

Conversation between a woman with a baby and another couple:
“You should do exclusive” (breastfeeding)
“Let me tell you, it’s very good, the baby will be doing what 11/12 months odl babies cannot do. They will have no fat you see. It’s one of the best gift you could ever give your baby”
“6 months is a long time o!” (the woman half of the couple commented)
“Let me tell you, I did exclusive for 9 months when I was younger” (husband, this of course elicited various funny comments from his wife – the idea was that the way he put it, it was as if he got his mother to the exclusive, and not just the fact that he was just on the receiving end)
My mother (were she present) would have contributed spiritedly to the discussion (against exclusive)
A nurse with years of experience “knows” that exclusive breastfeeding does not satifsy hungry babies. Also babies should be given plain water frequently. I was heartened later when I saw another woman cajouling her baby to take some water from a feeding bottle.

After about 3 hours, I thought something was wrong and went to ask the receptionist what was going on. I was then informed I should have gone to the reception area in the other office – partly to blame for not using my brain – even though the lab attendants told me to go to the main reception area, I should have known better.
The doctor finally noticed me after a while and said he’d been looking for me earlier. I explained that I was sent to the other reception to which he appologised. He then told me that nothing was found in the test and with his emphasis on Malaria, I finally asked if I was tested for Typhoid. He then explained that blood test for Typhoid was unreliable and that only a stool culture would do. He said I should just “watch” over the weekend and if I still feel something was wrong, I should come back next week. OK, I was really disappointed, despite my recent history, the drugs I had taken, I would have assumed he would at least have ordered the typhoid test which was easier than the much more involved stool test. I spent 4 hours to discover I had no malaria parasite in my blood, what the …!
Anyways, I decided against going to work. I returned home and went to bed. I felt so unwell and cold, I still think there is something wrong with me.
Zero marks for the Doctor on this one. 

Fast falls the evening tide
I am he that walks the beach with feet unshod
I am the Iroko, I stand fast: unmovable
I am the Oracle: I foretell your discontent
Why call you from afar?
What ails thee?
The thunder strikes but does not split asunder
The storm rages, but not a leaf leaves its sheath
The sea rises, but what do I care
Now that beneath my shade you stand
Call again, maybe I will answer
Be swift for fast falls the evening tide
When none should be abroad lest woe betide

(28/August/2008 1:41am)

Right in the middle of the street was a man literally chasing a 500 naira note. Fortunately the street wasn’t too busy at the time, and the oncoming pickup truck found it sufficiently amusing to halt and allow the man finally grab hold of the note. There he was with the slight wind playing havoc with the man’s timing such that he had to bend-scramble after the note. Quite a few people stood still to watch too.
Here is a suggestion for anyone that suddenly gets an urge to overspeed on Nigerian roads: go for a holiday in Germany and “do” the Autobahn. Floor your engine all out, let it scream, work out the desire from your system in a “safe” environment, then come back home and do 100KM/h on a regular day and 120KM/h if the roads are really free (and that once in a while)
Nigerian roads are not meant for speeding – our natural method of controlling speeding on our roads is to allow boreholes and ditches to develop over time. We then encourage huge trucks, tankers to help “maintain” and “enhance” the “speed controls”. Like all good things taken to excess, the side-effect of too many too large potholes are the numerous daily accidents that happen on our roads. The PIP (people-in-power) are of course not bothered about the human casualty – afterall, what’s the loss of a couple of hundred anonymous people in a population of (according to the immediate past president) 160 million give or take 10million?
Chew (the curd) on that 🙁

I would not send my child (if I had one) to a school named “De-stronggest God International School”. The name is cheesy at best and may be passable for some local one-man firm but definitely not a school.
I came back to Lagos with a friend, and despite the fact that he mentioned there might be a problem with one of his back tyres, we were still pushing 150Km/hr regularly. He is a competent driver, but given the state of roads in the country and the number of reckless/incompetent drivers on the roads, I think he is taking “liberties” (un-necessary risks). I have mentioned it in the past and since I am just a passenger – what else can I do but to find alternatives. I say a silent prayer whenever he gets on the road – even though I am not travelling with him. And of course by the morning of the next day, the tyre had gone completely flat. 

As I got to CMS “central”, I happened upon a drama that was just unfolding. A mobile police with a gun, beating one of the touts or possibly bus drivers with a long rod. He asked the tout to kneel down while he continued to whip him with the rod. The rod broke twice. All the while people in the crowd kept telling the tout to just take off and run away. So finally he got up the nerve and just took off. The police man cocked his gun, fire a single shot from the gun straight up into the air, and then brought the gun level and pointing at the man who was now swiftly making his way through the crowd. At some point, I was not sure the police man wasn’t going going to shoot at the guy, but I guess the large crowd in the place made him change his mind. He then took off after the man.

I got on a bus from CMS to V/I that was owned by an off-duty (I hope) soldier. I sat in front with the driver. He had on his green army trousers, his shirt was on his laps, and his berret was on the dash board. My eyes were drawn to a cloth flyer that he hung on his rearview mirror with the following inscription and the military motto (probably):
ARMY: The carrier that commands respect
VICTRORY IS FROM GOD ALONE

God help us indeed – “carrier” and “VICTRORY”

… from Charlotte, NC to Cleveland, Ohio.
A man seated close to the front of the bus stood up, and clearing his throat said:

“Hope y’all having a good day. I axed my broda upfront (the driver) and he says if none of yous have no objetion, I can do my bi-ness real quick.” He looked like a gang banger but without the jewelry, and he had a belt and his trouser was at the right place on his waist. He also sounded like one. If I had come across him on the street, one look at him and I would have classified him as one.
“Any objetion? No? God bless y’all. So I won’t waste your time, I do my bi-ness real quick like ah promised.”
“Someone praise the Lord in this here bus!”
A few people including yours truly said hesitant “alleluias”.
“Don’t be ashamed of the Lord now. Even people praise the Lord in China where they throw your sorry-a*s in jail if they see you got religion. I said someone praise the Lord!”. A few more people joined in and the volume went up a notch.”
Despite myself and being a Christian, I still couldn’t help thinking this wasn’t supposed to be allowed on the bus.
“Thank you brodas ‘n sistas”
“I here to tell y’all that God loves you. I ain’t no preacher but I try. I tell y’all it’s really hard but I try and read ma bible at lis twice a week. And here is what the Lord tells me to tell y’all”
“We all sorry-a*s sinners and we going to hell if we don’t stop sinning and believe on his son Jesus Christ.”
“I will tell y’all about myself. I used to be a sorry-a*s punk-a*s dope-dealer. I don do many things I ain’t proud of, things would break my ma’s heart all over again in heaven if she known about them. I used to be known as “King of the hill” in my hood back in the day. I was informed to stop telling that part of my story on account that the FBI can still whup my a*s into jail if they heard about it. But I look y’all over and y’all fine brodas and sistas – hmm! Not looking FBI at all.  You know, in suits with glasses and looking piss-a*s ‘n all. So as I said, I sell you anything you need back in the day, and I sell to you whether you in the crib or bent like my old granpa (God bless his raggedy soul, but I doubt he in heaven, he was cursing ‘n fornicating ‘n pinchin his granchidren bottom ‘n smoking weed till the day his heart give up on him). I know three of people in my hood who die of the shit me and my crew sold in them days. Regularly, we fighting other gangs in the hood, people on both sides die, and ordinary folks on the streets end up dead too. I didn’t shoot up or nothing – that shit be the end of you, no stopping once you hooked, but I smoked weed and drank shit. I party from Thursday night till Tueday morning. Bitches – sorry women – all over the place you can’t put your foot down without stepping on somethin’.
Then one day after drinking and smoking myself stupid, I got in ma car, put ma foot down and was going home in ma bad-a*s ’69 Cardillac on I-64. One hand on the wheel and the other holding a bottle. I come to a point where I see a sign says “Diversion, turn left” – I is so drunk I couldn’t rightly tell ma left from ma right, I turned ma wheel right instead of left. I crash so bad, when my head stop clear I was lying on the ground outside ma car. I was sitting with ma back ‘gainst what was left of my wheels when I supposed I don go wet myself. I was about to start laughin’ at myself when it was like someone stab me with knife on my side. I look down and seen my blood flowing like water down the road. I know right away if I don’t get help I goin’ die right there on the road. Then something happen, like someone slap me good and proper alongside my head and my eyes become clear. I was looking round for the nigga do it, when I heard a voice that said “Son, what you doing sitting on the ground” I look round but seen nobody, I thought I was losing ma mind when the voice came again, “Son. You don live your life anyhow, sold poison to people, done many bad things, now you dying and you going straight to hell. Your raggedy a*s goin’ burn forever”
I couldn’t seen nobody around, “who you looking for boy? The ghosts of those don die by your hand, your gun and the shit you sellin’ ?”
I scared shitless, but you don’t get to be the king if you scare easy. I said “show your face, and let me hear you say it to my face, you punk-a*s m—-f–k-r!”
Another had slap and I known who it was – my ma used to slap me same way when she was alive long time ago and she an angel so I rightly known it was her from heaven or God or Jesus slapping ma face.
“You dying and still cursin’ boy? I givin’ you your last chance – what you going do? You bleeding bad and if you ain’t got no help quick you goin’ die and go to hell real quick”
I ain’t known why, but it came to ma mind that the Lord wanted me to commit myself, so I think real quick and decided the easiest thing I could do was tell people about Him, I don’t know how I came about that, but I think it goin’ be easy – who goin’ lissen anyways – people in my broke-a*s neighborhood? I said a a quick prayer – please forgive me ma sins Lord, wash me clean, and save me. And whenever I get the chance, I tell people about you.”
So the Lord said “smart a*s m—f–k-r, you going tell people about me alright – if you think you going cruise around in your pimping ride all day, smoking weed, carrying women and selling shit, you don’t know nothin’ yet. You goin be travelling ‘n telling people about me” He didn’t say those exact words, but somethin’ similar.
Right away, I feel like I am starting to die, and a car pulls over. The man come over, seen me, try his phone but he ain’t got no signal. So he help me in his car and drove me to the hospital. On the way I axe how he came to be right there and right at the right time and he told me he a painter. He traveling to Virginia, but he stop take pictures of some flowers along the way and he wasted some time. He aims to paint them when he gets where’s goin. I thunk to ma self, the Lord don go set me up, he known the man was a coming anyways, and he trick me to commit maself just before he shown up. Right then, I got another slap – and I understand quick that He works mysteriously to brung the man to the spot right at that time. I made it to the hospital and so here I am.”
I got out of the hospital and as I had no qualifications, I got a job at a construction site carrying cement. I tell y’all it wasn’t easy having been livin’ like a king just a month before. I was hanging out with them tough m—f–ke-rs, trying not to smoke, and not go back to my old ways. They laughing at me whenever I be reading the bible or I try tell them about the Lord Jesus. Finally, I got one security job which was much easier with plenty time on my hands. I got one of them remote schools and started learning for my GSE. I don passed and now I am doing remote part time bible school. Currently, I heading to Ohio to start as male secretary to one man owns a construction company down there. He impressed by my background and how God don change my life around so he give me a job as his secretary.”
I don said all I aim to say, so I am asking you all to stop all your sinful ways and convert right quick.
The Lord’s coming soon and he sees y’all running up and down with your punk-a*s pretending to be busy doing nothin’
He seen you fornicatin’ and sleeping with them men and women. He seen your sorry-a*s cheating on your taxes. Don’t you know he said you shuld obey the government and pay your taxes? He seen your punk-a*s thrashing your neighbor and talkin’ bad about him behind his back. He seen your broke-a*s stealing from your customers and swearing on His name that you making no profit all day long. He seen all the sins you sinning. So am asking you to get your broke-a*s butt of your seat right now and get on your punk-a*s nees and ask Him for his forgiveness. If He change me, He can change you. Don’t wait till tomorrow. You never known if you still be eating kentucky Fries or lying in a mortuary somewhere. I tell y’all today is the day to accept Jesus Christ. Let him change you from your wicked ways. I don my bit and tesified to you’all. Thank you for havin’ patient with me and lissenin’ to my preaching at you. One America. One God. One heaven with straight and narrow road and tight-a*s gate at the end. God loves you. Peace.

Ah well, what can I say. He said it all.

So I was on the queue to the last check-in area before we actually boarded the plane. The older man at the choke point checked each person’s passport and then asked “final destination.” He looked friendly enough and looked like someone who had a sense of humour so when it got to my turn, I said “Heaven”. He laughed and commented that just the day before a white man said he was going to hell because he was “Esu” (satan). I commented that he had probably gone into the hinterland and contacted our “people”. There was very “active” group with one of them in front of me. He kindly pointed out the father of the current speaker to me. The staff I previously mentioned kept asking some people in front of me whether they were part of the group, so I asked the man in front of me what group they belonged to and he said they were members of the house (senators/honorables).

I took the greyhound bus from Charlotte, NC to Cleveland, Ohio. The bus more or less broke down about 2hours into the journey at Wythefield. The driver said we had lost 3 lognuts from one of the wheels, so the company had to send another bus from Charlotte. We ended up staying there for about 6 hours. I finally got to my destination 6 hours late. Came out of the Greyhound station and the taxi man told me the fare to Akron was $92. He asked if I was ready to go and I told him it was a little expensive for me and that I needed to consider my options. Afterall, I paid $115 for the 670miles from Charlotte to Ohio, and I was being asked to pay $91 for a 25mile trip! Just about that time, “Tony” came out to smoke a cigarette, he conversationally narrated his woes to me – he came all the way from California and was also going to Akron. He said the lady at the Greyhound desk at California spoke Spanish and understood very little English and mistakenly booked his ticket with the destination as Cleveland instead of Akron (shorter journey) so he ended up paying more for the wrong destination. I welcomed him to the club. He said he tried to get it fixed at all the subsequent stations were the bus checked in, but it proved impossible, but that at Ohio, the guy at the desk fixed it in about 10seconds. He then told me that he was placed on a Greyhound bus to Akron which would take off at 8:55am free of charge. The time was about 8:15am at the moment. So I rushed in and bought a ticket for about $10 and I was placed on an earlier bus leaving at 8:25am. I got to Greyhound station at Akron, asked the way to downtown from a couple of guys at the bus station, They were very helpful, even going so far as asking the driver to assist me in locating the right stop. I finally got off at “the main place” – like the station for the Akron Metro Line. I bought a whole day pass for $3 and went on a merry go round trip of Akron to get to my destination. I called my cousin from a doughnut shop (using an AT & T card) and left him a voice mail. I then went to take a look at Burial ground  on the South Avenue close to Tallmadge circle. There were chipmunks scampering about among the graves and headstones. I read a few of the names and calculated the number of years they were alive – varied from 2 to 86years for some of the headstones close to the curb.
My cousin showed up soon, he had got the message and called back, but I had already left the store. Dropped me off at the Cinema where I watched the new Pixar animation move “Wall-E”. It was just Ok, the pace was a little slow because I actually nodded off a couple of time, which never happens to me except on very rare occasions. I think I will go see Wanted next time.

Went to the Dome Cinema owned by The Charlotte Observer today to watch “Sea Monsters” on their iMAX screen. It was incredible. I am in the “field” so I shouldn’t be so awed, but it was something. I wanted to watch some other film on the one in London, but the night I went there with my brother, they didn’t have anything I thought was worth the experience. Though now that I think back on it, it seems the same “Sea Monsters” was one of the 2 or so films they had on that night. We started watching the “Dinosaurs” documentary after that, but they had focusing issues and returned the tickets for a full refund or come back another day to watch any of the films they had playing (not in Nigeria). Took the light rail (intercity train) to and fro. Clean and big and fast.
Ok, 2 nights before I left Reston, I decided to do my washing. Put all my clothes in the washer (26 minutes) then the dryer (60 minutes). I think that was a mistake letting it sit in the dryer for 60 minutes. I noticed that some of my T-shirts had become jumpers afterwards. And the only pair of jeans I brought with me makes me look like some music star from the wacko jacko era (think Cameo or Cool and the gang). I think I need to put the jeans in a stretcher of some sort otherwise I need to “frequently adjust it’s settings”
Left out Juan of Honduras from my previous post. I met him at the Greyhound Springfield bust station. He spoke a little English and we managed to communicate while waiting for the bus. He had a 10-year VISA to the states (2000 – 2010) and seems he’s been around for about 6 years. He said he’s fed up working and working and paying bills and rent and that he’s going back to Honduras next year. I think what he does must be somewhat manual as when he was trying to describe his job, he made moves as if he was driving a bike (possibly some sort of lawn/grass cutting). I found it strange that he could barely speak English, possibly he didn’t mix much and maybe his work didn’t require talking to English-speaking folks, but 6-years here and no English.